efore you start scouring dating apps for affairs or hitting the bars, you’ll need to establish an alibi. Essentially, you want an ironclad excuse that covers all your tracks. Try and avoid embroiling other people in your lies, however. While it’s tempting to use a close friend to be your alibi, there’s always a chance your husband is going to ask them about your whereabouts.

Many people use work as a cover for their affairs. Fall back on old classics like you’re working late. If you’re already someone who spends more time than they should at the office, the occasional late night isn’t going to raise any suspicions. If you’re thinking about getting away with an affair partner for a few days, you can also use a last-minute business trip as a cover. However, consider how suspicious your husband is. If he’s someone who has no qualms about picking up the phone and calling your office, you’ll want to avoid using your career as an alibi.

This one is particularly important. Although many men are likely to pick up the tab while you cheat, you’re still going to be out of pocket. Those travel costs and drinks tabs don’t come cheap. Creating a separate bank account is a good way to avoid getting found out. All of your affair expenses should be sourced from this account, not a joint one you share with your husband. Furthermore, make sure you’re not receiving paper statements in the mail. If you can’t switch to electronic-only statements, think about setting up a PO box where all your affair-related mail can be delivered.
One slight issue here is that you’ll still need to fund your affair. Moving money from your main bank balance or a shared account is still going to be a concern. Are you sitting on savings your other half doesn’t know about? Think about drawing on these to beef out your affair account. If you don’t have any money you can use, think about a side hustle that you can use to generate extra income.

You’ll obviously need to communicate with affair partners or have a device to make new connections online. Using your everyday smartphone is never a good plan. Even if you’ve enabled privacy features, the urge to keep your home screen concealed is going to send red flags to your husband. What’s more, there’s always the chance your spouse will pick up an incoming call from an affair partner. For peace of mind, invest in a separate phone with a dedicated number for affair-related indiscretions.

Many people who cheat use two SIM cards for the same purpose. However, constantly switching out SIMs is awkward and you run the risk of being caught in the act. A dual SIM phone is something to consider, but it comes with the added risk of incoming texts and calls being intercepted.

Keeping an affair secret takes work. When agreeing to meet with an affair partner, think carefully about locations. Most people assume that picking a venue that your spouse doesn’t know about is all that’s required. However, you need to think far more broadly than that. Avoid anywhere that someone from your everyday life might bump into you. This includes retail hubs, entertainment districts, and public spaces.

If your affair is geared strongly toward sex, a hotel room is fine. However, make sure you’ve picked somewhere a good distance from your home. Additionally, arrive separately to avoid suspicion. If you’re lucky enough to have a friend that’s prepared to cover for you, you might want to consider asking them if you can use their place. This will save you a small fortune in hotel charges, meaning you have one less thing to worry about concealing.

You’ll also want to steer clear of social media. If you’re a regular user of Facebook, avoid the urge to check on messages when you’re out with your affair partner. You don’t want to accidentally update your location without realizing it. Whatever you do, avoid the urge to take photos or record videos of your affairs. It’s all too easy for social media galleries to be automatically updated and blow your cover.

The best way to keep your affair a secret is to not tell anyone about what’s happening. Many women like to share their indiscretions with close friends to alleviate feelings of guilt. However, rather than making things easier to deal with, you’re opening yourself up to a whole new level of anxiety. You’ll then need to make sure you’re always keeping those in the know happy. A minor disagreement with a friend can quickly turn into a marriage-ending disaster when they decide to use what they know as collateral.

Some people continue to cheat until they’re caught out. Others decide their affair partner is the person for them and decide to admit their indiscretions to their spouse. However, most people simply find that affairs have a natural shelf life. When the affair is over, you need to be clinical about deleting all evidence that it ever existed. Have you been using another phone to communicate with lovers? Delete all messages and correspondence with the other person. Ideally, you should be destroying the phone itself. Next, check social media pages to ensure no evidence, no matter how minor is featured on your pages. It’s also worth glancing over the pages of your affair partner. If they’ve uploaded a photo of the two of you together, ask them to delete it.

If an affair has ended badly, it’s easy to take these motions home with you. Try and keep a lid on any anger or depression you’re feeling about having to say goodbye to a lover. If your spouse suspects something is wrong, their probing you for answers can lead to all manner of questions that can bring your affair out into the open.

Finally, take stock of what’s happened and confront the reality of your situation. Now’s the time for reflection. Ask yourself why you cheated in the first place and what you were looking to get out of the arrangement. You’re going to be dealing with some pretty complex emotions going forward and if you let them run wild, you can cause a lot of issues at home.

It’s common for people to feel depressed and anxious after an affair is over. Although you might not feel much guilt now that you’re not having an affair, you’ll almost certainly feel remorseful. It’s also likely that you’ll start to be suspicious of your partner. If you’ve cheated, then it makes sense that they’re entirely capable of doing it themselves. However, you can’t indulge in this kind of transference.

You might have had a good reason for straying, but the fact is you were the one who cheated. Accept that you’re the guilty party and don’t let your feelings cloud your judgment and interactions with your spouse. If you’re really struggling emotionally, consider seeking out the services of a professional therapist. Confidentiality comes as a standard here, so you can speak freely without the risk of any consequences.

By now you should have a clear idea of how to get away with an affair. The most important thing to remember is that preparation is key. It might feel as though all that preparation is taking the thrill out of an affair, but by covering your tracks ahead of time, you get to enjoy the perks of playing away with someone new. Establishing strong alibis is crucial, although you’ll also need to be meticulous when it comes to phone interactions and financial transactions.

Once an affair gets going, you’ll also need to keep your thinking hat on. Avoiding meetings in locations you’re likely to run into someone you know. There’s a good reason why hotels are synonymous with affairs. If your budget won’t stretch to weekly hotel stays, think about confiding in an open-minded friend who’ll allow you to use their place as a venue.

When an affair comes to an end, you need to deal with the emotional fallout. If you’ve been caught out by your spouse, rebuilding trust can be tricky. If an affair has simply come to the end of its life, you’ll still need to suffer the consequences. Now that spark has gone out of your life, depression can put a dent in your everyday life. It’s also natural to start feeling suspicious of your partner now you’ve proven that anyone can have an affair. If you want to keep a previous affair as a lifelong secret, you need to deal with these feelings quickly.
If you’re considering having an affair, you need to weigh up the pros and cons. Do you have what it takes to lie on a daily basis? Are you confident that you can be methodical about keeping your communications a secret and policing a separate bank account? Can you honestly say that you can cope with feelings of rejection and frustration once an affair comes to its natural end? If you think you can go ahead. If you can’t, think about investing your time and energy into repairing your marriage.